JANUARY 2007 (LIVEJOURNAL)

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79122
2007-01-03 19:30:00
2007-01-04 01:30:54
Comedy At The Gym - Fitness 2007
I don't need to go to The Improv to see a comedy show, I can just go to the gym. I'm gonna point out a few things. First let me say that I don't think that I work-out perfect, but I try. If you see me doing dumb shit, let me know. I appreciate any advice you can give. Alright, now, lets do this. First I'd like to point out those who are clearly overweight. That's cool that you made it to the gym, very nice. Now it's time to focus on your problem areas. Big fat guys: you probably don't need to be doing any chest exercises at this point in the game, or biceps, or tri's, etc. GET ON THE TREADMILL AND RUN ALL DAY, SIT ON A BIKE, PRECOR, STAIRMASTER, OR GO WITH THE CLASSIC APPROACH AND JUMP SOME ROPE! Do something cardio. That's fine to come in the gym and do a little this and that but don't spend the day at the bench-press like you're the shit. Overweight ladies: same thing. And especially for you, half-ass sit-ups aren't gonna cut it. Lifting your head off the ground isn't doing anything more than as if you were sitting on the couch watching tv. Squeeze those ab muscles until your stomach feels like it's gonna fall off. And good for you wearing those spandex things and being overweight, keep that confidence up, it's what's gonna keep you in the gym. Now for you younger girls who come in there with your T&A hanging out, that's fine, we're all watchin', but try and downplay the cockiness a little. Oh yeah, and don't be afraid to work-out in between your shows, you DO have some problem areas. ALL: have you forgotten about form? control? breathing? Pick up a muscle mag or book or something and read a couple pages. That's all you'll need to do before you come across all these things. You gotta keep your form. If you're rocking the shit out of your back and doing "shoulder" bicep-curls your not targeting the muscles. If you let the weight drop down on the negative you're wasting half the work-out. Breathe! If you hold your breath oxygen doesn't get to the blood efficiently (or something like that) and also, when you finally do breathe you have to let out that big AAAAHHHHEE! Nobody wants to hear that. Big deal, half the people in the gym look over. But guess what? They're thinking, "What an idiot, he thinks he's such tuff shit." We're not thinking anything along the lines of what you're feeling or thinking we're thinking. You're not tuff. You're not lifting so much weight that we should be impressed. A little "uh," or "oo," is okay now and then, but keep it down, nobody cares. It is cool though, in a way. The other day I was in the gym and I heard all these guys make different stupid-shit noises at the same time and it sounded like they were doing that Beatbox thing. I think I heard you guys doin' that Papa Roach song "Cut my life into pieces..." Bench pressers: keep your backs flat on the bench and stop arching like you're having a seizure. Don't just sit at the bench press all day, nobody cares how many 45s you can stack. Trainers: put down that clipboard, or at least hold it right. It's doesn't make you look any more like a "real" trainer. Your shirt's too small, better order a bigger one. Lady trainers: grow your hair out, the other day I was checkin one of you out and when I got to your fade I thought you were a guy. I had to question my sexuality for a minute. Anyone thinking about joining a gym: go in there knowing how much you want to spend and what you want to sign up for cause all the employees are scam artists trying to get that commission. Once you're signed up, don't try asking for help with anything, you'll only find a cold sholder. Front desk: smile a little and on your breaks go work-out for 10 minutes, you're borderline being call "big boned"; you're representing the gym by being the first people we see when we walk in, inspire us. I'm not trying to sound to harsh on the people I pointed out, really. You're all on the right track getting your lazy asses down there at all, just make a few adjustments. And if I need to make any, let me know. Oh yeah, GET OFF THE PHONE! You're in the gym, make the call quick if you need to at all. We don't care about you downgrading your employees or about who you're gonna infect with herpes tonight. Everyone: it's just the gym, but deodorant is now mandatory. Don't come in without it. Also, don't walk around all hard n' shit like someone pressed the slow mo button on the remote. Speed up your pimp walk and keep that heart rate up. Stop slammin' the weights together for the dumbbell bench/military-press and when putting them back on the racks, all it does is show that you aren't strong enough to control them. Caught you! --> Ya, we saw you sneak a peak at the mirror when you were walking, flexing your tri's and bi's. Just stop and admire cause you look funny when you try and sneak a peak at yourself. Ladies and fellas: don't look at me like you're trying to catch me lookin' at you. I don't give a shit. If you have something to say, say it. If you think I think I'm tough, let me know. If you think I'm a p*ssy, do something, I'll break your face. If you know me, or if you don't, just say what's up, I like to talk to everyone. For all of you coming to the gym, having a good time, gettin it done, workin-out; keep it up, you'll live longer. Alright. Take what you've read today and apply it to your next work-out. Any other suggestions?
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79452
2007-01-06 19:53:00
2007-01-07 01:53:52
Robin and Stone - Love is Immortal
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I2kjMqPGadI
This video really struck a chord with me...
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79747
2007-01-06 20:01:00
2007-01-07 02:01:53
Robin Scorpio
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SDMqJluOfm4
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79907
2007-01-10 20:25:00
2007-01-11 02:25:19
Spirit of Northern Canada
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O4IEcCG-578
I have always loved wolves...this video is awesome...
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80171
2007-01-16 02:18:00
2007-01-16 08:18:49
Little Darlings - Infamous Food Fight Scene
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UMQ9-1zxLpU
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80584
2007-01-20 20:07:00
2007-01-21 02:07:27
Nestle, Kellogg Commercials from 1974
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Vi_sivrtm-8
too cute!
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