Summer is finally here

MAY 2007 (LIVEJOURNAL)

2007-05-04 00:28:43
Reagan the murderer
Twenty years ago this week:
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85385
2007-05-20 11:37:00
2007-05-20 18:41:34
I'm in Arizona...

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85624
2007-05-20 18:54:00
2007-05-20 23:54:39

Day 3 in Scottsdale AZ; Terravita Road... Activity Route: -- Elev. Avg: 2203 ft Location: Cave Creek, AZ Elev. Gain: +0 ft Date: 05/20/07 Up/Downhill: [+124/-124] Time: 06:37 AM Difficulty: 1.9 / 5.0 Weather: Fair 71F temp; 21% humidity 71F heat index; winds Calm Performance Distance: 2.97 miles Time: 0:58:12 Speed: 3 mph Pace: 20' 00 /mi Calories: 349 Map Elevation (ft.) Speed (mph) Splits Mile Pace (min/mile) Speed (mph) Elevation Gain actual +/- avg actual +/- avg 1 21' 07 +1' 07 2.8 -0.2 +98 ft 2 19' 48 -0' 12 3.0 +0.0 -23 ft end 17' 48 -2' 12 3.4 +0.4 -75 ft Versus average of 3.0 mph

Posted from bimactive.com

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85792
2007-05-20 18:56:00
2007-05-20 23:56:11

The walk back from the fitness center (Terravita Country Club) to the house. Activity Route: -- Elev. Avg: 2202 ft Location: Carefree, AZ Elev. Gain: -95 ft Date: 05/20/07 Up/Downhill: [+9/-104] Time: 10:52 AM Difficulty: 1.7 / 5.0 Weather: Fair 87F temp; 10% humidity 81F heat index; winds SW 3 Performance Distance: 1.32 miles Time: 0:20:41 Speed: 3.8 mph Pace: 15' 47 /mi Calories: 152 Map Elevation (ft.) Speed (mph) Splits Mile Pace (min/mile) Speed (mph) Elevation Gain actual +/- avg actual +/- avg 1 15' 42 -0' 05 3.8 +0.0 -59 ft end 15' 35 -0' 12 3.9 +0.1 -36 ft Versus average of 3.8 mph

Posted from bimactive.com

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86119
2007-05-20 17:33:00
2007-05-21 00:44:34
Depression once again
Coming to Arizona has reinforced a depression that I hoped wouldn't resurface - at least not on vacation. But since I haven't gone anywhere in years and since I put a lot of hope into this trip, I have quickly seen that this isn't going to turn out at all as I had planned, which has rapidly drained my interest in being here as well as doing anything. Most of the time I just want to do what I do in Duluth, work out, come home, go for a walk, come back to this little cottage in the back and turn the lights off and go to bed. There is nobody to meet here, nothing to do, we are 40 fucking MILES away from downtown Phoenix; which means this image of being in a big city where I could walk places and maybe meet someone or go places where gay people might be - all gone. That's not going to happen. Everything that is like that is over a 40 mile drive from here, I have no car and there is no public transit here. I am basically more isolated and stuck here than I am in Duluth. I feel bad because I am not having a good time at all. I can't meet anyone yet I know there are gay guys to meet but they're 40-60 miles away and I have no way of getting there and back (not even once) so why even get excited about that; my mom is finally relaxing so I don't want to spoil her time here, I have no money at all left in my checking account so whatever money I have here has to last me when I get back there until the end of the summer, so that means I can't buy anything here; it's just bad. This isn't what I was hoping for and I was looking forward to this trip for months, and this isn't any fun. None of the things to do around here are things that would interest me. I don't want to see anything old west, I don't want to go to the Grand Canyon, I don't want to see middle of noplace towns that I can just as easily see in Minnesota. It's depressing and lonely enough there, why would I want to do that here. But Duluth has familiarity and I can get around there. I have a snowball's chance in hell when it comes to meeting anyone there but nothing's going to happen here either. I'm just discovering that, yes, this is different and there are things here that I have never seen before but I'm ready to go home. I'm not having fun here and I can't pretend for long that I am. There is nobody here that I can meet or look forward to meeting, the guys in the Phoenix chat rooms don't say anything or they just don't like me; I'm not sure which...I just feel like I spent two months getting excited and in the best shape possible for NOTHING.
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86371
2007-05-21 13:53:00
2007-05-21 18:53:22

The basic walk from the house to Albertsons Activity Route: -- Elev. Avg: 2202 ft Location: Carefree, AZ Elev. Gain: -95 ft Date: 05/21/07 Up/Downhill: [+9/-104] Time: 09:40 AM Difficulty: 1.6 / 5.0 Weather: Fair 78F temp; 25% humidity 76F heat index; winds SE 8 Performance Distance: 1.41 miles Time: 0:20:23 Speed: 4.1 mph Pace: 14' 38 /mi Calories: 160 Map Elevation (ft.) Speed (mph) Splits Mile Pace (min/mile) Speed (mph) Elevation Gain actual +/- avg actual +/- avg 1 14' 17 -0' 21 4.2 +0.1 -53 ft end 15' 11 +0' 32 4.0 -0.1 -42 ft Versus average of 4.1 mph

Posted from bimactive.com

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86632
2007-05-21 18:55:00
2007-05-21 23:55:06

New walk Activity Route: -- Elev. Avg: 2198 ft Location: Cave Creek, AZ Elev. Gain: +99 ft Date: 05/21/07 Up/Downhill: [+118/-19] Time: 04:15 PM Difficulty: 1.8 / 5.0 Weather: Fair 91F temp; 10% humidity 84F heat index; winds SW 10 G 29 Performance Distance: 1.74 miles Time: 0:29:38 Speed: 3.5 mph Pace: 17' 08 /mi Calories: 200 Map Elevation (ft.) Speed (mph) Splits Mile Pace (min/mile) Speed (mph) Elevation Gain actual +/- avg actual +/- avg 1 16' 37 -0' 31 3.6 +0.1 +76 ft end 17' 35 +0' 26 3.4 -0.1 +23 ft Versus average of 3.5 mph

Posted from bimactive.com

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86931
2007-05-23 15:58:00
2007-05-23 20:58:44

This was a nice walk around Terravita and to this outdoor music performance center which I forget the name. Unfortunately, the buzz I got from the nice walk was killed when the asshole cop told me that I was crossing against a red light and the ticket would be $146 'you think about that next time!' he told me. Fuck you too, pig. No, I didn't get a ticket. But it confirms this is a VERY conservative city...I have never heard of anyone ticketing you for that - for real. Activity Route: -- Elev. Avg: 2209 ft Location: Cave Creek, AZ Elev. Gain: +128 ft Date: 05/23/07 Up/Downhill: [+137/-9] Time: 01:30 PM Difficulty: 1.7 / 5.0 Weather: Clear 81.0FF temp; 25%% humidity 81FF heat index; winds SSW 7 MPH Performance Distance: 1.89 miles Time: 0:35:16 Speed: 3.2 mph Pace: 18' 45 /mi Calories: 218 Map Elevation (ft.) Speed (mph) Splits Mile Pace (min/mile) Speed (mph) Elevation Gain actual +/- avg actual +/- avg 1 17' 35 -1' 10 3.4 +0.2 +82 ft end 19' 52 +1' 07 3.0 -0.2 +45 ft Versus average of 3.2 mph

Posted from bimactive.com

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87287
2007-05-23 16:00:00
2007-05-23 21:00:21

There is nothing carefree about the Carefree Highway, which had no sidewalk, and while the speed limit is 45 mph, those cars were going at least 70 mph. Did the walk, but never again. I'm going to stick to this gated community of Terravita from now on. Activity Route: -- Elev. Avg: 2205 ft Location: Carefree, AZ Elev. Gain: -131 ft Date: 05/23/07 Up/Downhill: [+13/-144] Time: 02:25 PM Difficulty: 1.7 / 5.0 Weather: Clear 81.0FF temp; 25%% humidity 81FF heat index; winds SSW 7 MPH Performance Distance: 1.46 miles Time: 0:24:06 Speed: 3.6 mph Pace: 16' 40 /mi Calories: 169 Map Elevation (ft.) Speed (mph) Splits Mile Pace (min/mile) Speed (mph) Elevation Gain actual +/- avg actual +/- avg 1 16' 20 -0' 20 3.7 +0.1 -92 ft end 16' 42 +0' 02 3.6 -0.0 -39 ft Versus average of 3.6 mph

Posted from bimactive.com

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87307
2007-05-23 19:45:00
2007-05-24 00:45:07

Somehow I lost my way on the gravel walking path and ended up on the sidewalks of the golf course - which pedestrians are not allowed to walk on (what the fuck?) and of course there are no signs or anything; three people asked what I was doing there. Lovely time here. I'm never coming back after this vacation is over! Activity Route: -- Elev. Avg: 2198 ft Location: Cave Creek, AZ Elev. Gain: +105 ft Date: 05/23/07 Up/Downhill: [+114/-9] Time: 04:52 PM Difficulty: 1.8 / 5.0 Weather: Fair 85F temp; 22% humidity 81F heat index; winds W 10 Performance Distance: 1.69 miles Time: 0:32:27 Speed: 3.1 mph Pace: 19' 21 /mi Calories: 193 Map Elevation (ft.) Speed (mph) Splits Mile Pace (min/mile) Speed (mph) Elevation Gain actual +/- avg actual +/- avg 1 18' 55 -0' 26 3.2 +0.1 +82 ft end 19' 48 +0' 26 3.0 -0.1 +23 ft Versus average of 3.1 mph

Posted from bimactive.com

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87611
2007-05-24 18:57:00
2007-05-24 23:57:05
5/23/07 Cat Fight on the View, Rosie vs Elizabeth
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uE_l8QYAWZM
Go Rosie!
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88032
2007-05-27 18:26:00
2007-05-27 23:26:24

Did this walk while I was bored, the walk was HOT! Activity Route: -- Elev. Avg: 2203 ft Location: Cave Creek, AZ Elev. Gain: +114 ft Date: 05/27/07 Up/Downhill: [+127/-13] Time: 03:55 PM Difficulty: 2.4 / 5.0 Weather: Fair 95F temp; 9% humidity 88F heat index; winds SW 9 Performance Distance: 2.00 miles Time: 0:35:19 Speed: 3.3 mph Pace: 18' 10 /mi Calories: 231 Map Elevation (ft.) Speed (mph) Splits Mile Pace (min/mile) Speed (mph) Elevation Gain actual +/- avg actual +/- avg 1 17' 48 -0' 22 3.4 +0.1 +69 ft end 17' 41 -0' 29 3.4 +0.1 +46 ft Versus average of 3.3 mph

Posted from bimactive.com

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88182
2007-05-27 18:27:00
2007-05-27 23:27:15

And the walk back - it was just that exciting. Activity Route: -- Elev. Avg: 2208 ft Location: Carefree, AZ Elev. Gain: -122 ft Date: 05/27/07 Up/Downhill: [+9/-131] Time: 04:45 PM Difficulty: 2.5 / 5.0 Weather: Fair 96F temp; 9% humidity 89F heat index; winds W 12 Performance Distance: 2.06 miles Time: 0:35:46 Speed: 3.4 mph Pace: 17' 38 /mi Calories: 236 Map Elevation (ft.) Speed (mph) Splits Mile Pace (min/mile) Speed (mph) Elevation Gain actual +/- avg actual +/- avg 1 17' 41 +0' 02 3.4 -0.0 -39 ft 2 17' 05 -0' 33 3.5 +0.1 -82 ft end 15' 52 -1' 46 3.8 +0.4 0 ft Versus average of 3.4 mph

Posted from bimactive.com

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88378
2007-05-28 23:25:00
2007-05-29 04:25:11
One Life To Live: January 1986
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_gHZKWKBvOk
I remember this theme from when I was in the hospital for 2 weeks!
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88813
2007-05-29 15:15:00
2007-05-29 20:15:33
January 1996: General Hospital
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=InqO_HkDf_w
Another one of the soaps I followed closely back then...
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88961
2007-05-29 13:44:00
2007-05-29 20:46:12
Me in Tucson...dont know if I already posted this

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89147
2007-05-29 17:43:00
2007-05-29 22:43:41
Thoughts on Arizona
Downtown Tucson, AZ We are going home on Saturday afternoon. In some ways I am relieved, in others I am worried about what's next...now that I have to face going home, having to figure out what to do with my life, etc., things I wanted to put off for a while longer. I guess at some point we all have to face things that we don't want to. This trip was great for my mom so I am not complaining to her about the lack of things to do, the frustration of not being able to meet anyone - or even SEE anyone gay here in spite of months of getting pumped and ready for this trip...that was such a disappointment that I can not describe it...I had been waiting for so long to go someplace where there are different people, and different places that I might be able to come into contact with someone I might want to talk to. I did the research on Phoenix, I looked at the photos of downtown on the internet, I looked at the gay newspaper online. Then I got here and discovered that, while this is the Phoenix metro area, it is on the extreme northeast corner, and Phoenix proper is a good 50 miles away. The closest I got to even seeing it was from the airport, and I never made it to the parts of Scottsdale that were supposedly gay populated (again, another 35 miles from here). This has to be the worst example of a city that has developed so quickly without any planning in terms of moving people around effectively and economically. If you do not have a vehicle here, you are living in primitive times. There are no buses. The closest bus stop to this area is 14 miles away. Walking is confined to the inside of this gated community, Terravita, because the highways here don't even have shoulders to walk on - just dirt and rocks on the sides of the road. Nothing here was built for the volume of traffic, people and development that appears to have taken place over the last decade - 90% of it at least. The sense of isolation here is bad enough that Duluth is looking really diverse and metropolitan after two weeks here. I have not seen anyone of a different color, anyone young, anyone gay...for being such a diverse state, I didn't see any of it here. Interestingly enough I was here just long enough to form some different ideas on the whole Mexican immigration debate. We went for one trip to Tucson, AZ; about 100 miles from here and talked to some people whom I won't name...anyways these folks were extremely well off, both being lawyers with a successful practice. They went on to discuss building their dream home in the mountainside of Tucson with great views of the city (again, another community in the middle of nothing) and how much it's costing them to hire illegal immigrants to hang their doors. And these people are both lawyers, who are complaining about having to pay these day laborers wages so insulting to begin with that I couldn't even listen to this conversation I was getting so angry. There are many aspects of society that have lost all touch with humanity and what makes us who we are. The drive back here hardened me when it came to the extreme affluence here and how some of these people take advantage of those on the other extreme right down to the last penny so they can build their 'dream home' at the expense of someone else who gets to live in a quanset hut or trailer. That soured my interest in living here someday. Part of it is the weather, and the people here can drive these fancy cars and have these expensive houses all year round as trophies and show off 'look at what I've got' stuff. You're only important if you can produce, if you can make enough to have the things that get people to notice that. If you don't drive this car, work at this job, live at this address then you're nobody - and while I never met any gay people here, I know enough about gay men to realize they would fit right into that mindset of people who buy into that bullshit. As much as I don't like the people who move to Duluth for the sake of free handouts and everything, the other extreme here - the ultra rich who think everyone else should bow as they're coming towards them - bother me even more. It wasn't all bad. I went for a lot of walks. I think today alone I walked/ran 16 miles. I got really tan. My mom got a chance to relax and take her mind off of work for two weeks, which she definitely needed to do. Our differences are becoming more apparent. She can be here and be fine with the seclusion. I HAVE to be able to get out and go places, or at least know that I can if I want to. This location is fine for her, because her sister is here; for me, part of it is the shock of finding out how far away everything was, and having to give up on the interest of seeing Phoenix and the actual city...I think that set the tone of negativity for this trip. Had I known how far away those places were from here, and that it would be very unlikely that we'd even go downtown or anyplace fun, I would have come here with a different mindset. City of Duluth's New Logo:
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calm

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89807
2007-05-29 21:47:00
2007-05-30 02:47:42

Another hot day Activity Route: -- Elev. Avg: 2204 ft Location: Cave Creek, AZ Elev. Gain: +0 ft Date: 05/29/07 Up/Downhill: [+147/-147] Time: 03:18 PM Difficulty: 2.7 / 5.0 Weather: Fair 94F temp; 5% humidity 86F heat index; winds W 8 Performance Distance: 4.00 miles Time: 1:09:43 Speed: 3.4 mph Pace: 17' 38 /mi Calories: 462 Map Elevation (ft.) Speed (mph) Splits Mile Pace (min/mile) Speed (mph) Elevation Gain actual +/- avg actual +/- avg 1 18' 20 +0' 41 3.3 -0.1 +72 ft 2 17' 54 +0' 15 3.4 -0.1 +30 ft 3 16' 26 -1' 12 3.6 +0.2 -30 ft end 17' 08 -0' 30 3.5 +0.1 -72 ft Versus average of 3.4 mph

Posted from bimactive.com

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90071
2007-05-30 17:42:00
2007-05-31 00:42:12
Arizona II
Now that we've been here for 2 weeks, I think my opinion of Arizona is changing somewhat. At least, for the sake of this vacation. So I didn't get to see anything or go anywhere like I had planned. I'm discovering that rarely does life work out the way we expect it to, even if we are on vacation. What is important is that my mom and I got to go someplace together for the first time in a long time, and for the most part, I had a good time. She got to relax. While it rained back in Minnesota, the weather here has been close to 100 degrees, sunny and calm. I've been able to go out for long walks every day, twice a day, without worrying about whether it will rain or if the weather is going to turn to shit after 20 minutes. In a perfect world, we would be staying near downtown or wherever the cool uptown-type places are, and I could walk there and see all the places I saw on the way here from the airport. The difficult thing about Phoenix is that everything is so spread out - for example, in Minneapolis, you generally will see those kinds of stores in uptown or downtown which is great because not only are they minutes away from each other, but are accessible by many buses all day long. Unless you live in the suburbs, you don't have to have a car. Here, no matter where you live, you will be miserable without a car. The buses run in very limited areas of Phoenix. The fun places to hang out are in Scottsdale (not where we are) and downtown Phoenix - which are dozens of miles from here, and dozens of miles from each other. When you figure all that out it's just not worth the trouble of going anywhere. It's a very poorly laid out city, and it appears that it's growing so quickly that nothing looks right. The highways here look like they were rural roads that were never updated for the volume of traffic. So what changed my mind is when I did what I do best - I changed my expectations and changed my outlook. Okay - so I can't go anywhere. I can go for a lot of walks and sort through some of this anxiety that has plagued me for months on end. The 'local' guys on the internet disappear when I tell them I'm a long ways from Phoenix and thus I haven't met anyone. Would I have wanted to meet someone that flakey in the first place? No. Lots of time saved meeting guys I probably wouldn't have wanted to meet anyways. So this wasn't exactly what I had wanted, but it was something, and it was enjoyable. I do think that a lot of new experiences are what you make them. And I am learning that, if you constantly get angry because things aren't what you had hoped, you will miss out on just having fun with what you've got. You can't go to a place you've never been with this long list of things that must happen 'or else' because they won't happen.
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Batdance (1989) - Prince
good